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March 9th, 2007
A new branch of mathematics would be required to quantify the amount of pointless muck clogging up the Intertubes these days. In order to come up with some sort of metric, you’d have to start by multiplying each and every conceivable idea/interest/fettish by however many thousands of sites are already dedicated to exploring each subject’s pungent nooks and crannies. Now take this number, (which should already be causing overflow problems in all but the most advanced calculating software packages backed up by a clusters of appropriate hardware,) and raise it to the power of the number of awkward and improbable sexual positions you can juxtapose with each subject, and we’re getting to a point in the calculation which can still only be optimistically described as ‘not even close.’
Thus, I humbly introduce Iambits, the latest floater to lodge itself in the U-bends of the Intertubes.
The name itself is a hastily derived combination of ‘Iambic,’ (with its precise meaning in the fast-paced world of poetic meter,) and ‘bits’ (as in eighth of a byte.) It was not intended to convey any deep meaning, and actually represents the least lame-sounding and mildly relevant name I could come up with while racking my brains at the ‘enter a domain name’ field of the hosting registration. However, by happy accident, I found that when typed it just so happens to spell out the assertion ‘I am bits,’ which could be construed, by people who construe such things, as some sort of a purposeful existential statement to be applied to our times. However, this kind of nonsense is better suited to college students and French philosophers, so pronounce the name however you like.
I’m also going to use the word Iambit as a noun to describe the product of this … er … art form, (if you’ll forgive the liberal application of the term). The … oeuvres … I intend to put up are web-comic like, (and indeed will be presented, archived and indexed as such,) but are actually poems embedded into images in an attempt to make them a little more interesting. The, overall theme (or motif for the expensively educated,) is whatever I happen to think about, which more often than not involves extraordinarily mass-market-unfriendly geek-type matters. The first few opuses I have prepared will address the burning topics of Nigerian Spammers, the Commodore 64, Slashdot In-Jokes, and AGI Sierra games, to give you a general flavour of the intended content.
This is not meant to represent a new and revolutionary poetic movement, merely the only form of creative work which my limited artistic talents will allow me to produce on a somewhat regular basis. I can’t currently offer you rich visuals, loveable characters, or Penny-Arcade style wit and relevancy. But if it’s a sonnet you want, then by Jove, a sonnet you will get, with a choice of Shakespearean, Spenserian, or Petrarchan. Or perhaps you might come here in search of a newly formed Villanelle? Well, I’ve got your number right here.
Apologies for the completely default look and feel of everything on the site thus far, but having a few oeuvres ready for presentation, I thought it was important to get something up quickly to keep me going. This is a new thing for me, and I promise the look and feel with develop over time. At present, I will endeavor to introduce a new poem at the rate of one a week. I realise this is very infrequent, but given the current demands on my time, this schedule is as un-infrequent as I can possibly make it at the moment. Given the likely readership, I somehow doubt entire nations will find themselves facing civil disobedience should I not post more frequently.
Thus, to the four of you out there who’ve really noticed the absence of geek flavoured poerty, welcome home.
The rest of you please try to temper your mockery.